Okay, bear with me here. Because to understand what follows, first I’m going to have to fill you in on the utter strangeness of how beer is sold in my home province of Ontario. (Ontarians, feel free to skip directly to paragraph three.)
Outside of patronizing a bar or restaurant, there are only three places where an Ontarian can buy beer: the LCBO, independent brewery stores and something called The Beer Store. The first is known in full as the Liquor Control Board of Ontario, and is a network of government-owned and -operated alcohol retailers. The second is pretty much self-explanatory, although it’s worth noting that, by law, these stores must be connected to the brewery where all the brands sold are produced. And the third is another network of stores, these selling only beer, which is owned and operated by – wait for it! – the two largest breweries in Canada, Labatt and Molson. (The country’s number three brewery, Sleeman, now owned by Japan’s Sapporo, also owns a very small stake, but otherwise the smallest brewers in the province have no official say in what is by far the largest seller of beer in the province.)
It is The Beer Store that I wish to focus on here, because good folks that they are, the people who run it kindly included a free calendar in my newspaper last Saturday, entitled “A Year of Beer 2007: Get to know beer.” Ever interested in learning more about what I drink, I opened the calendar to find that the first spread featured a detailed schematic outlining eight major styles of beer: Lager, Ale, Stout, Light Beer, Dry Beer, Malt Beer, Draught Beer and Ice Beer.
Yes, you read that list correctly. As much as it might come as a surprise to you, as it certainly did to me, Ale and Lager are not the two main, overarching families of beer, into which all beer subclasses may be grouped, but “common types of beer.” Reading further, I found that Lager is of a “pale golden colour,” a fact which must come a quite the surprise to Bavaria’s hundreds of brewers of mahogany-hued dunkel lagers. Ales, on the other hand, range from “rich gold to reddish amber,” a palette that curiously doesn’t begin to cover the deep brown of Black Oak Nut Brown Ale or the near black of Trois Pistoles, both of which are sold by, you guessed it, The Beer Store. But perhaps I’m mistaken and “Nut Brown Ale” isn’t actually ale at all…
Further along, I found that two of The Beer Store’s eight “common types” are Dry Beer and Ice Beer, styles that aren’t even recognized by the Great American Beer Festival’s judging panels, and they give out medals in “Imperial or Double Red Ale” and “Specialty Honey Lager or Ale,” for crying out loud! Helpfully, though, the calendar does tell me that Ice Beer has a “concentrated flavour” and should be served “well chilled.” Okay, maybe that’s not so helpful after all.
Next to my new favourite, concentrated Ice Beer, I find that Draught Beer is not simply a way of packaging any beer, but a distinct type that’s “fresh tasting and easy to drink” and “less filling than other beer.” Silly me. I thought that how filling a beer might be was related to its calorie count, and therefore its strength, not whether it was in a bottle or keg. Good thing I have The Beer Store to tell me that the 8% alcohol Maudite, which I can find on tap just up the road, is easy drinking and not at all filling.
Finally, I discovered something called Malt Beer, which I can honestly say I’ve never before encountered in my sixteen-plus years of writing about beer. Indeed, I was under the impression, however misguided, that pretty much all of the world’s beers were Malt Beers, since they were brewed from barley and occasionally other grains that had been malted. But no, as The Beer Store informs me, Malt Beer is a high alcohol brew that “boasts a light, full flavour (which is) heavier and sweeter than other beer.” Both light and heavy in the taste of one beer? Yessir. Apparently Malt Beer defies contradiction!
Really, it’s amazing what a person can learn from a simple calendar. Thank you, Beer Store.
